How to save a life
by SodapopXPonyboylover
Summary: Sometimes trouble can come from inside the family...One-shot


**Songfic: How to save a Life**

**Meaning to song: **According to the lead singer, pianist, and songwriter Isaac Slade, the song was composed and influenced by his experience while working as a mentor at a camp for troubled teens:

"One of the youngsters I was paired up with was a musician. Here I was, a protected suburbanite, and he was just 17 and had all these problems. And no one could write a manual on how to save him."

Slade claims that the song is about all of the people that tried to reach out to the boy but were unsuccessful. As Slade says in an interview, the boy's friends and family approached him by saying, "Quit [the problem behavior] or I won't talk to you again," but all he needed was some support. The verses of the song describe an attempt by an adult to confront a troubled teen. In the chorus, the singer laments that he himself was unable to save a friend because he did not know how.

**Summary: Sometimes trouble can come from inside the family…**

…

"Ponyboy, we need to talk."

Ponyboy's head snapped up, his eyes wary.

"Don't worry, it's just a talk." You try comforting him.

He gives a small nod and smiles politely at you. You can't bring the courage to smile back, so you just stare politely back at him, hoping that you can somehow get through to him.

"Ponyboy – " you break off, unsure of what to say. He stares at you, confused.

"Ponyboy, this has to stop."

"What has to stop?"

"Don't play dumb Ponyboy, you know very well what has to stop."

He was frowning now. "Darry, I don't know what you mean."

You shake your head, convinced that you're right. He's trying to avoid this, put it off. "Ponyboy, listen to me and listen good. This is going to stop – right now."

"I can't stop something that never happened…" he said doggedly.

"Ponyboy stop lying to me!"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" he suddenly snapped. You close your eyes; this was exactly what you didn't want to happen.

You want to retaliate so bad, but you know it won't do any good now.

"You need help Ponyboy." You say slowly. His eyes narrow.

"No. No I don't. I'm fine."

If only you had been there for him, if only you had known how to save a life. None of this would have happened.

You take all the blame, and yet, Ponyboy lies in front of you. Fear in his voice, as though you're going to hurt him. This hits you full on.

If only you had known how to save a life.

"I know what's best Ponyboy." As you say this, you realize it's true. You do know what's best.

"No you don't." he was lying to himself. You can see it. It's a weakness.

"Yes I do Ponyboy and you know it. You know that I can help."

"No you can't!"

You get slightly mad, "Yes Ponyboy, and the sooner you realize it the better off you'll be!"

He stared at me, silent.

"You know what's wrong with you? You don't do ANYTHING. You have such bad mood swings I can barely tell left from right with you. One day you'll wake up fine, and the next you act like you were the one to witness his death!"

You start to regret saying this as his expression turned stoic. You never talk about Sodapop's death in front of him, little things like this set him off.

If only you had known how to save a life.

If only you had known just how fragile life really was.

How messed up it can make you.

How it can cost you family, and friendships will be broken.

You pray to God he listens to you, that he will forgive you. You pray to God again and again, night after night, but you've never prayed like you are now.

"You…you! Don't you talk about him like that!" his voice starts to raise, and you lower yours as you say these next words.

"Ponyboy, I'm giving you a choice. Either come with me freely, or I will drive you to that cemetery if my life depends on it." He wouldn't go, you know it. But you at least want to give him the option. He hadn't been to visit Sodapop's grave, and you know in your heart, that if he visit's it. He'll finally let go.

The look on his face was enough of an answer, and you grab his arm and shove him into your car.

"No, Darry!" Ponyboy screams, and you ignore him. It's for his own good.

Tears are blurring your vision, and you drive until you can't see the road anymore. But it doesn't matter, you're already there. Just looking at the gates are enough to make both you and Ponyboy start to ball your eyes out. Break down.

You look at his tear-stained face, and know that he will do one of two things: He'll either admit to everything that has happened during his time of "grieving" or he'll say that he's just not the same. You hate to admit that it's true, looking at his broken figure. You glance back at the cemetery gates. You begin to wonder why you even came here. You wonder if you're even doing the right thing.

You get out of the car. Ponyboy won't budge, and you remove him by force. You hope with all your might that this is in his best interest. If this doesn't work…

…you already know it hasn't when Ponyboy see's that gravestone. You sink at the look he gives you, that horrible look that would make the devil run away. A look of pure hatred.

Where did you go wrong?

You lost a friend.

The bitterness has taken him over.

You're never getting him back.

You would have stayed here with him all night, if only you knew how to save a life.

But none of this would have happened, if you had known how to save a life.

…

LYRICS:

Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life

**I really hoped you enjoyed this!**


End file.
